New Blog!

On the advice of a wise friend, I've decided to start a Caption This!-only blog. Part of the reason I ended Hispanic Time is...well, lots of reasons, but one of the main ones was simple burn out. I have pared my internet time down quite a bit over the months, but I want to pare it down more. I LOVED Hispanic Time but I just didn't care about it anymore, and I've been wanting to do something different for a while anyway. By starting a Caption This!-only blog, I'm able to still blog and stay connected with my friends, but I only have to tend to it once or twice a week, max. HUZZAH! So I invite all of you to join me at the new blog, SHEET CAKE & BACK FAT (click that link to go to the new blog.) It won't be the same as Hispanic Time (otherwise I'd just keep doing Hispanic Time, right?) but it should be tons of fun. And don't let your inhibitions prevent you from joining in - I SUCK at captions, but I still have fun doing them, and I want you to, as well! Hope to see you there!

P.S. EL B - GET YER ARSE OVER THERE, PRONTO... ;)

See Ya

I won't be posting anymore, but I'm not deleting the blog because there are people who look for deleted blogs, take them over & slap ads on them. Screw those guys. ;)

It's been a lot of fun. Take it easy. :)

I Love Andy's Parties

I watched two videos this weekend that made me laugh. I couldn't decide which one to post, so I'm posting both. I don't usually like to do that; I don't like how two videos stacked on top of each other looks. Then I realized the global recession is, in reality, a depression, three more Canadian soldiers just came home from Afghanistan in boxes, there's genodice, rape, infanticide the world over; perhaps two videos on top of each other really isn't that big of a deal. It's called perspective. I suppose it means I'm maturing.

The first video is not really a laugh out loud video, but it's really funny, and stars two of my favourite people, H. Jon Benjamin (whom you all know I love since I've talked about him many many times) and Todd Barry. Aimee Mann turns up, too. She isn't one of my favourite people, but I like her, so it's fine.

The second video is a laugh out loud video; at least I laughed out loud, a lot. I was taking my vitamins when Jemaine said "I'm Brian" and I almost choked on them. Is that irony? Taking a pill that's supposed to make you healthy and then dying because you choked on said supposed healthy pill? I think it might be...Anyway there are countless songs out there with my name in the title; this is now my favourite (sorry, Donovan!)

While I'm on the topic of videos I watched this weekend, I also saw this one. I've never ever watched Jackass; the few clips I've seen are insanely stupid, it's just not something I find funny at all. So I have never seen this, nor have I ever heard about it, and it was only after a google search that I even realized it was a Jackass prank (well, it's very obvious that it's a jackass prank, but I think you know what I mean.) All I can say is there are a number of men I'd do before Brad Pitt - he's on my list, don't get me wrong, he's just not at the top - but goddamn that man is hot. The way he says "abducted" gets me all hot. It's better not to think about that too much, I think...


I mean I've certainly been at the airport before and I've been in a stall whether to, you know, take a steaming dump or a raging piss, but I, I never thought about using it as a place to bust a nut.



I still walk a lot but I'm not eating as many sandwiches as back then...

Caption This!

Elastic Man was always my favorite superhero. Now you know why... - Prico

I'm a mean green mother
from outer space
and I'm hung!!! - Prico

I always wondered why Kato never left the Green Hornet... - Prico

GO AWAY YOU GODDAMN LOCH NESS MONSTER! - Jamie

Tree-fitty! - Prico

Puff the magic penis lived by the sea . . . - Brunhilda

Meet The Energizer Man: He keeps growing and growing and... - Kermit

Since the construction trades are down, Mike knew that he'd have to employ gimmicky advertising at the local trade builders association convention. He rebranded himself with a catchy new mascot and tagline... "Mike's Plumbing... My Snake Will Unclog Your Can!" - Kermit

Swamp Thing, you make my cooter sting.
Swamp Thing, I think I love you. - Kermit



Caption This!

Are You There, God? It's Me, Jennifer Margaret...

WHAT WOULD YOUR MESSAGE BE?

Leave God a message at his Dutch answering service

AMSTERDAM (Reuters Life!) - God is taking calls.

Dutch artist Johan van der Dong has set up a local telephone number in the Netherlands, where he urges people to leave messages for God on his answering machine.

Van der Dong said he set up the number to give people an opportunity to take pause and contemplate life.

"Like praying, leaving a voicemail message is a way to organize your thoughts," he said. "It's a perfect combination for some contemplation."

Callers dialing 06-4424-4901 (or +316-4424-4901 if calling from outside the Netherlands) from March 7 will hear.

"Hi, you are speaking to God. I'm not in right now so leave a message after the beep."

(source)

"Let's Enjoy it While it Lasts"

Never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually glad that her opening night was a success, I really am. After the crap past couple of years and the fact that I 100% believe she is being pushed into this way too early because her clan can't let their meal ticket slow down, I'm happy that this opening night was a good one. Having said that, this photo...it's killing me...(click to enlarge)

Caption This!

It's not what you think - it's just an eye wash station. - me

Woman gives birth in new Benjamin Button case. - Ros

I'm... so... very... confused...I can't even come up with something witty to say... - Theresa (I know it's not a caption but it fits! LOL)

" Wheres the tent? Shit! " - El B

" HALLO, Hallo, hallo...yep Chantelle, you have a large twat! " - El B

" Mummy, mummy, i want to go home, the world is too scarey!!! " - El B

Give me one more minute guys, nearly inflated! - El B

Liquor in the front, Poker in the back. - Prico

When Jim Bob told Jenny they were gonna eat out, this is not what she envisioned... - Prico

Is this what they call "al fresco"? - Prico

"Suck the Ping Pong Ball Out Of The Ho" was the most popular game at the carnival. - Prico

He's certified in cooch to mouth resucitation. - Prico

This should be an inspirational poster:

CUNNILINGUS

Not everyone can afford an engagement ring. - Prico

Annie? Annie??? Queef once if you can hear me! - Prico

Trailer for "Invasion of the Body Snatchers 4" - Prico

Love American Carnie Style. - Kermit

CPR: Cooter Pulse Resuscitation - Kermit

And that, kids, was the day I was made. - Kermit

When Jackie Joe's snake bit Charlena, Timmy Tom was quick to suck the venom out of the gash. - Kermit

The Orange County Fair, sponsored by Roofies. When No is a definite Maybe! - Kermit

WHOA! Thank God you were there when I tripped, otherwise I would've smacked my face on the ground! - Prico

Take that puss out of your face! - Prico

It's not a tumor! - Kermit

Step right up! Step right up! Come see the Elepussy Man!!! - Kermit

Octomom gives birth to full grown man! - Prico

I feel the earth move under my... Nah. It's just the ants coming to the pussinic. - Kermit



Caption This!

Blind Item Reveal

I knew it! I knew this one, I called it almost immediately. Unfortunately, I didn't call it PUBLICLY. But trust me when I say I CALLED THIS! Swears.

Today Lainey posted a link to a story about possible problems in Mark Wahlberg's relationship and said this: "Did he find out?"


The original blind item:

Karmic cuckold?
He’d been cheating on her for years. She had his babies, she endured the other women, she let him back in the door every time he ran away, only to come slinking back with apologies.

For a while now though he has stayed at home. More mature, done with that life, he’s now completely committed to her, ready to take the next step…

Problem?

It’s her turn to be unfaithful. And not only with a random but with someone he knows. More importantly, someone he trusts. Worse – it’s no secret. They’re all aware, all around them, except for him. And everyone is bracing for drama. Because what started as a purely physical affair has turned into one sided love. The other man wants more, is willing to fight for it, putting her in the middle. He’s threatening to blow it all wide open, she’s begging him to calm down, but he’s pressuring her to come clean.

She wants to say with the father of her children who is oblivious to it all but who they say will surely take off immediately when and if he finds out. Love double standards!
(original post)

TOTALLY Wahlberg.

Oooh, 15 Inch Carpet Pounders...

New England, honey, just relax, maybe have a glass of wine. If you're tense it's gonna hurt more...

Snow storm carpets US east coast

Winter storm pounds East Coast

Snowstorm targets East Coast; New England braces for 15 inches

Snow Storm Pummels Washington Region

Gone to Settle the Score

This is my absolute favourite Ash song, and until tonight I had not heard it in ages (this would be my second; an obvious choice, I know, but who cares. Hey, while we're at it, here's my third. I really like this one, too. Basically I really like this album.) This song makes me soooooo hyper. One time about 12 years ago I was in my car in a parking lot with a friend, and even though we were kinda in a hurry I couldn't pull out (*snicker*) until this song was over because I knew I'd be jumping around too much and that's not a good idea when you're driving. Things haven't changed; I'm totally bouncing like mad as I type this. But luckily I'm in a safe, pedestrian-free apartment, so it's OK.

How I Spent My Saturday

This billboard is all around the city and it never fails to creep me the fuck out:
















And just in case that doesn't creep you out, here's a close up:
















Nothing says "Black History Month" like a crude painting of President and First Lady Obama on a restaurant window:

















Speaking of Obama and things that are all around the city, this is a very common sight these days. Stores are full of them. This store however has taken it a step further and printed them on neon t-shirts. Look people, I know we're all happy the Americans did the right thing and elected Obama, and I'm a big fan of brightly coloured shirts, but really now, it's getting out of control!

Oh, and don't forget to get your St. Paddy's day shirts printed up!

















Finally, my favourite purchase of the day. I know hipster irony is a little played out, but at $4.99 how could I pass this up?!

Caption This!

That's the biggest crap I've ever seen!!!!!!!! - me

Marge took a break from her coast to coast delivery to take in the P-Town sun. - Kermit

That poor child collapsed after seeing his ass lips munching on that thong. Some things are just not meant for children's eyes... - Prico

His dingleberries are in the shape of Baby Jesus!!! Holy assholes!! - El B

Seriously ? Another ' Lethal Weapon ? '
Lethal Weapon 5- ' Does my ass look big in this thong ? ' - El B

Mickey Rourke had a weave made out of Loki? That is sick ! - El B


Caption This!