Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves...Well, Maybe Not Yet...

Gallery of the Absurd has a WONDERFUL commentary on aging in Hollywood. Two lines that stood out to me:

The brutal truth is, there's nothing you can do to stop it (aging process.) Sure, you can get a nip and tuck here and there to freshen up, but gravity takes no prisoners.

Lesson of The Day: Women showing signs of aging should be ashamed of themselves. Men over 60 with clownish plastic surgery should be celebrated for their fresh faces.

I will try not to get into this TOO much, because first of all I do tend to rant when it comes to anything even remotely considered a feminist issue, and second I've been researching women & beauty for about two or three years now (specifically beauty and the pain that goes with it - everything from corsets to implants to lip plates) and I HAVE A LOT TO SAY on the matter. I have pages and pages and pages of notes - to even TRY and condense it here would be a futile and exhausting effort. And y'all know I'm just far too lazy (which is why I'm totally still in the researching stage of the beauty/pain issue. Maybe in the future it'll see the light of day, but...sorry, got tired thinking about it. Where's my remote?)

Besides, I think you'd have to either be blind or so completely numb to it to accept without question this age old (no pun intended) and enduring double standard. Meaning there's really no NEED for me to get into this too much. Basically if you're a woman, you're dismissed the second you get that first wrinkle. If you're a man, you're mature, distinguished, ANYTHING but over the hill (unless you're Mickey Rourke.)

When I first posted that Melanie Griffith picture back in May, I specifically stated that if Melanie Griffith was just aging naturally there's no way I'd EVER criticize her appearance - it was the fact that the extreme dieting and plastic surgery had done this that so upset me (well, not UPSET me, but you see my point) meaning, she did it to herself. But taking into consideration the double standard of beauty, you can understand WHY someone would would do this to themselves. In my mind it doesn't excuse it - we need women to stand up and be proud of who they are, regardless (actually BECAUSE) of the number of lines or grey hairs they sport (hello Lauren Bacall!) But it DOES make me more empathetic.

One thing to consider - the point of the GOTA piece is to showcase how women with plastic surgery are criticized, analyzed, almost satirized, while men with plastic surgery are "fresh faced" and deemed more handsome than ever (well, again, except for Mickey Rourke.) But the fact that men are now moving into the field of plastic surgery is telling, isn't it? Are men too now starting to feel the glare of the microscopic spotlight? Are they too now feeling the need to fight aging capped tooth and manicured nail? I'd like to gloat, but I can't - I think it just means we're as obsessed with youth as ever. And it doesn't change the fact that men are still "aging gracefully" while women are wrinkled has-beens in denial. Well, except for Mickey Rourke.


I would add a little something to this, too. Something that's always bothered me, something I've thought about, written about, many times over the years. The fact that on TV - sitcoms, and commercials especially - it is the norm rather than the exception to see a heavy set husband with a stick thin wife. The only show I can think of that defied that rule was Roseanne.

I'm serious - The Flintstones, The Simpsons, Family Guy, According to Jim, The King of Queens, COUNTLESS COMMERCIALS (especially the type of commercials where the husband is a bumbling oaf and the wife is the forgiving voice of reason) - Fat Hubby, Thin Wife.

Just watch commercials a little more closely - you'll see it's much more prevalent that you'd think.

So not only is it OK for the man to be older, it is ALSO OK for him to be fat. Not so the woman. Ever. Well, again, except for Roseanne. There may be others, I'M SURE (I HOPE) there are others, but unlike fat husbands, examples of fat wives do not immediately come to mind.

One last point - as so often happens in any feminist discussion, many people will think the aim of the discussion is to point the finger at men, to accuse men, to scream "UNFAIR! OUTRAGE! BURN OUR BRAS!" and lay the blame soley at the feet of men. NOT SO. First of all, I do not subscribe to that theory - that in order to be a feminist you despise and blame men. I think it's lazy and narrow minded. Second, women need to wake up to these things, too. Women need to be RESPONSIBLE. We need to be aware, and we REALLY need to be the harbingers of our own change. Yes it's hard, the world has MADE it hard, but we had a hand in that, too, and therefore we can have a hand in changing it.

Make sure you check out the images at Gallery of the Absurd. Scary, thought provoking, but always hilarious.